About

Therapy feels like the discussion of topics and memories which seem awkward to discuss, avoidant memories that hide in the shadows of your mind, just waiting to be discussed — to heal. But because it’s easier to not examine and discuss these memories (so they can avoid being “looked at”). It’s easier to simply not look. To not relive the associated feelings. It’s easier to run away. To selectively numb (RE: Berne Brown). To eat our feelings. To obsessively clean. Mentally “running away” to avoid dealing with the past through over-scheduling. Through social media. Through obsessively watching TV. Through alcohol. Anything to “run away” from confronting emotions. Therapy can certainly be challenging in various ways; however, healing is worth it. Having the right therapist aids in the processing of painful memories; This helps to gradually heal. Healing means looking inward at those painful memories and work through them. The more someone emotionally “detaches” from the associated emotions, the more they heal. It is through this means that a painful memory degrades into a less painful one.

I am writing to document my healing process through recovering from CPTSD. My goal is to give a perspective of the events I’ve gone through and my healing journey. As such, there is likely to be subject matter that some may find triggering.

If you are in crisis, please reach out 24/7 to the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988, chat services at 988lifeline.org, text support via the Crisis Text Line by texting NAMI to 741741, the Trevor project at (212) 695-8650, or visit your nearest emergency room. There is help and hope available for guiding you out of crisis